Ponder This

August 28, 2015

Watching someone you love drink

Filed under: Living a Healthy Lifestyle — by Ponder This @ 9:28

Imagine someone you love dearly is watching you while you drink. Here is what they see:

Daddy came home from work late today. Mommy is mad at him and they are yelling. He tells her to get off his back, his job is hard and he needed a few drinks to unwind. Daddy missed my first dance recital and he promised he would be there. I kept looking in the audience but the chair next to Mommy was empty. I don’t understand why Daddy doesn’t love me.

Tears fall on my pillow. Mommy told me Daddy had to work late and that is why he didn’t come. I finally fall asleep while Mommy and Daddy yell.

When I wake up, Daddy is still in bed. I jump on his bed and tell him good morning. He tells me to go away he has a headache and doesn’t feel good, so I leave him alone.

I hear Mommy calling Daddy’s work telling his boss Daddy is sick and won’t be at work today. Poor Daddy, that is why he missed my recital, he was sick. I love my Daddy. I hope he feels good tonight because I am going to surprise him and dance for him before dinner.

When I get home from school Daddy isn’t home even though he missed work today. Daddy doesn’t come home after work and it is my bed time. Mommy said tomorrow is Saturday so I can show him my dance then.

August 27, 2015

Daddy Drinks

Filed under: Living a Healthy Lifestyle — by Ponder This @ 9:28

Last night Momma and Daddy didn’t yell. At breakfast both of them are in a really good mood. I skip to the bus because I am so happy. Momma was smiling this morning. I have so much fun at school today, my Daddy isn’t sick and my Momma feels good. When I get off the bus, I see a police car in our driveway. Momma and Daddy’s cars are in the driveway too. Mrs. Jones is standing in our yard motioning for me to go to her.

I start crying and asking what is wrong. Is Daddy sick? Is Momma sick? She tells me everything is going to be all right but I need to stay at her house until somebody comes and gets me. I won’t let me play outside. I stay in her house and look out the window at my house.

The policeman is bringing Daddyē out. His hands are behind his back. They push his head down and make him sit in the back seat of the police car. What did my Daddy do? Why are the police taking my Daddy away, where is my Momma? Mrs. Jones wants me to eat but I don’t want to, I want to go home. I want Momma.

Somebody rings Mrs. Jones’ doorbell. It’s a lady with a clipboard. She whispers to Mrs. Jones in the doorway and Mrs. Jones points to me. The lady comes in smiling and talking softly. She says I have to go with her and that Momma is in the hospital. Why is Momma in the hospital? She doesn’t answer me. She takes me to a house with lots of people in it, I think it is an orphanage. What is happening?

August 26, 2015

Addiction Through a Child’s Eyes

Filed under: Living a Healthy Lifestyle — by Ponder This @ 9:28

There are more people drinking and using drugs that have children than those who do not. The horrific consequences of addiction for the user is life threatening to their health and devastating for their families, especially their children.

In this series, I am writing about addiction from a child’s perspective:

I am a little girl and my Daddy drinks. He smells bad when he comes home late from work. Tonight I didn’t see him before it was my bedtime. I was asleep when I heard screaming. I ran to the kitchen to see Daddy hitting Momma. She screams for me to go back to bed. I’m not sure how she thinks I am going to be able to sleep. I’m crying and I pull the pillow over my ear so I don’t hear the noise.

The next thing I know Momma is waking me for school. I see bruises on her face and arms. She forgot to put her robe on like she usually does. She is acting funny, talking fast and trying to make me laugh, but I don’t. How can I when Daddy hits Momma?

August 25, 2015

Talk to Strangers

Ok I’ll be honest. Until January of this year I never read fiction. I was afraid it would interfere with my non fiction writing, which includes researching topics and writing articles as well as my creative non fiction writing.

I struck up a conversation with a stranger and somehow we started talking about movies. I told her I saw the Hunger Games, but didn’t like it. She told me I should read the book, it is better than the movie.

That’s all it took for me to fall in love with sci-fi. I’ve read the Hunger Games trilogy, the Maze Runner trilogy, and on and on. My last round of reading has been The Ender Games.

I love to read sci-fi, but I’m still not ready to write fiction but I’m not going to stop reading this genre.

Why do I tell all of this? This stranger in an elevator conversation of about one minute changed my frame of thinking and my mode of entertainment for the last five months.

This isn’t life altering or some spiritual conversation, but it does show the impact of a stranger. I could have been someone in need of something deeper and that conversation may have been different and it could have been life altering.

Say hello to others in the elevator. You never know what it will bring you and it can’t hurt!

August 24, 2015

Cell Phones, iPads and More

Filed under: Living a Healthy Lifestyle — by Ponder This @ 9:28

I’m driving 70 miles an hour on an interstate. I pass a van driving  and look over. A young mother is on her cell phone, holding a coke in her other hand and steering with her knee. Oh and she had children in the back seat.

Another time I’m on the expressway and notice ahead of me a car with the drive leaning so far to his right holding talking on his cell phone, with about 10 cars trying to pass him, he was driving so slow, oblivious of the anything but the telephone call.

I’m in Macy’s enjoying a leisurely day and notice a women on her cell phone discussing where she went to dinner the night before.

I’m in a restaurant on a Saturday evening and more people are on their phone than not.

Why is everything so urgent? Why do these people have to talk on their phone all the time? When did everything become NOW, even stupid things like what you ate for dinner the night before or what time you got up this morning?

The days of true leisure and relaxing are now replaced with cell phones other electronics . I cannot talk with some people without them constantly looking at their phone, for fear they miss a Facebook posting of a joke or something stupid. No one lives in the moment, enjoys a meal and children are not playing outside. They are on their ipads and other electronics. Someone said his 16-year-old son isn’t interested in getting his driver’s license because he plays games with his friends remotely, they are not in a room together. Children are not learning social skills and how to interact with people because they stare at a device 24/7.

August 22, 2014

Daddy hurt Momma

Filed under: Living a Healthy Lifestyle — by Ponder This @ 9:28

Daddy hurt my Momma and is in jail. Momma is in the hospital. I heard people whispering and I was hiding so I could hear what they were saying. I don’t know why Daddy hurts Momma. It must be because he drinks. Why does Daddy drink? Why does he hurt my Momma?

For anyone following my blog, I have been writing from a child’s perspective when one parents drinks and physically abuses the other parent. The child can’t sleep, can’t stay awake in school, fails to learn and the child suffers but no one speaks up for the child. The teachers, the school nurse and the next door neighbor know but do not say anything. The non drinking parent is an enabler and is just as guilty as the drunk.

Addiction causes horrific consequences. This story is about a father than drinks, but there are parents using drugs and neglecting their children. I will continue to share stories and facts about addiction because someone has to speak up for the children of drug addicts and drunks.

August 20, 2014

Daddy drinks and Momma cries

Filed under: Living a Healthy Lifestyle — by Ponder This @ 9:28

Addiction from a child’s point of view:

I am so confused. I am a little girl but I think drinking is bad. Daddy is meaner when he drinks. Sometimes Daddy stays home from work because he is sick. I hear Momma call his boss and she always says he has a stomach problem. I ask Momma if I can stay home with Daddy I am so tired. She said I have to go to school and she has to go to work.

She is putting lots of makeup on her face. I bet she is trying to hide the bruises on her face where Daddy hits her. I catch the bus and when I get to school I ask to go the nurse’s office but my teacher said no, I’m missing too much class time. I try to pay attention but I don’t feel good. I probably have what Daddy has, Momma said he had a stomach problem.

When my bus stops in front of my house, Momma’s car isn’t in the driveway but Daddy’s is.. Mrs. Jones, the lady next door is standing in my driveway. She said Momma called her and asked her to watch me until she gets home. I play in Mrs. Jones yard, she doesn’t tell me why I can’t go home since my Daddy is there. When Momma comes home she tells me to say goodbye to Mrs. Jones and come home. I wonder what it will be like tonight?


August 19, 2014

My Daddy hits my Momma

Filed under: Living a Healthy Lifestyle — by Ponder This @ 9:28

Addiction from a child’s perspective

Daddy hit Momma again. I was sleepy at school and asked my teacher if I could go see the nurse. I sleep on the cot in the nurses office until she woke me to tell me it was time to catch the school bus. I must have slept all day. When I get off the bus I see Momma and Daddy’s cars. I open the door so it doesn’t make any noise. I’m afraid. I hear Momma and Daddy laughing in the kitchen.

Momma sees me and tells me to come have a snack. She said the nurse called her. She’s sorry I didn’t feel good. No one says anything about Daddy’s drinking or hitting Momma last night.

I play outside until dinner time then I play in my room. I go to bed and in the middle of the night I hear yelling. Momma is yelling at Daddy that he promised he was going to stop drinking. He tells her to shut up and says some bad words. I can’t sleep again. I’m so tired. I don’t understand why Daddy drinks and breaks promises to Momma. I know he is hitting her but this time I don’t go check. I put my pillow over my ear but don’t sleep. When I get to school I go back to the nurse again. I can’t keep my eyes open at school. I am so tired. Why does Daddy keep hitting Momma? Why does he drink that smelly stuff? My teachers and the nurse don’t ask me why I’m so tired. Momma keeps telling me it’s our secret and it is a game they play and I can’t tell anyone.

August 15, 2014

Daddy is drinking and Mommy is mad

Filed under: Living a Healthy Lifestyle — by Ponder This @ 9:28

How a child views your drinking……

Daddy is sleeping late today because it is Saturday, his day off. I can’t wait for him to see my dance costume. Mommy says I can’t wake him up though, I have to wait and for me to go outside and play.

I hear Daddy coming down the hall and I run to him, Daddy are you ready to see me dance. He says he has a headache and doesn’t feel good. He needs some coffee and he will feel better. Mommy is in the kitchen and the sink makes that gurgle sound again. She tells Daddy he needs to fix it. He yells he will do it tomorrow. He is going to a football game today with friends.

I run into the room and ask Daddy if he has time to see me dance before he has to leave and he says sure. I run and get dressed in my tutu. I yell for Daddy to come watch me and then I start dancing. He isn’t watching me, he is rubbing his head and Mommy is yelling at him. He can’t go to the game, he needs to do stuff around the house.

Daddy jumps up from the chair, grabs his keys and runs out the door and slams it shut. Mommy starts crying. I don’t know what to do, run after Daddy or make Mommy feel better. I go to Mommy and tell her I’m sorry and ask why Daddy is like that. She says he loves me, he works hard and just needs time with his friends. We spend the day together, Mommy and me. I don’t see Daddy before I go to bed.

August 13, 2014

Why do you drink?

Filed under: Living a Healthy Lifestyle — by Ponder This @ 9:28

You drink because the alcohol makes you feel good. It helps you forget your problems. You suffer from chronic pain and drinking dulls it. Your job is stressful so stopping and having a few drinks after work calms you down. You are depressed, feeling anxious, nervous, worried, sad, overwhelmed, and on and on.

Your reason for drinking keeps you going back for more. If you stop what will happen? The stress returns, the pain returns or your emotions bounce back to depression, nervousness and panic.

More people manage to deal with all of these reasons without drinking than those you try to self-medicate, which means their is hope. You not only have the ability to stop drinking with rehab, but you learn how to manage your triggers.

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